The Playground of Imagination

Close your eyes. Immerse yourself in the darkness surrounding you. Allow everything to fall away. Forget yourself, who you are, what you are doing. Gradually, fall further and further into this abyss that is everywhere. Let your thoughts become no more than echoes fading into the distance. Let your breath be the only thing guiding you deeper and deeper. Nothing exists. Everything is forgotten. Sink into the depths of this emptiness. Become aware of the silence that grows as you descend. Silence is the sound of emptiness. Allow the silence to draw you in. Allow it to envelope you. Lost in emptiness, enveloped in silence the moment becomes a timeless experience of peace. Sense it. Know it. Become familiar with it. Allow yourself to feel this peace. Now become aware that you are not separate from this peace. The darkness, the emptiness, the silence, the echoes, the descent, the breath and the peace are all one seamless experience. It is all a flux. One transforms into the other, from moment to moment to moment. Now you are the darkness, now you are the fear, now you are the shallow breath, now you are the rapid heartbeat. Now you are the echoes in the mind, now you are the silence that envelopes, now you are the emptiness that surrounds, now you are the peace which remains. Become aware of every incarnation you assume. Watch it be born, watch it live a lifetime, watch it pass away. Rest in this abyss.

Open your eyes. Allow yourself to witness the world around you without comprehending. Witness your mind's impulse to rush into defining it. Like a fond mother gently restrains an overzealous child as they approach the playground - gently, fondly, compassionately restrain your mind from engaging right away. There will be plenty of time for play. First, you must learn to see that a game is all this really is. Remain aware of the silence, aware of the emptiness, aware of the breath as it continues to guide. Even with your eyes open, continue to linger in this perspective just a little bit longer. You are the peace which remains. Without comprehending the world, see the world. What do you see? Without comprehending the world, hear the world. What do you hear? Without comprehending the world, feel the world. What do you feel? Can you see the emptiness all around you, the emptiness within everything? Can hear the silence, the silence within the sounds? Can you feel the peace existing, the peace within the chaos? Just like the mother witnesses the playground drama unfold, with all the camaraderie, intrigue, friendship and betrayal that only children are capable of, with the same undifferentiated perspective of compassion; can you also witness the events of your world - with all the triumph, tragedy, heartbreak and celebration that only we humans are capable of, with the same undifferentiated perspective of compassion?

The mind is eager to play, I know. No need to restrain it any longer. You have arrived. Be gentle but firm with it, not strict. It was born to play. And play it will. Watch it take off the moment you let go of its hand - and suddenly you are once again you - this character that is your mind's creation, its prize possession, its favorite superhero doll. Allow the mind to use its child-like imagination to create new stories and new adventures for your character to embark upon. Witness its inexhaustible creativity at weaving thread after thread, story after story, adventure after adventure into an endless tapestry of a lifetime. Even when the story takes a darker or painful twist, don't worry too much. Children at play will sometimes get hurt. A wise parent is simply a guide, not an authoritarian. Pain is often the result of irresponsible play. Allow your mind to learn the hard way - that drama breeds suffering. The more freedom and autonomy you allow it the more it will learn to play responsibly.

No matter what costume you are being dressed in. No matter what role you are being asked to play. No matter what drama you are being asked to engage in, humor the mind but don't humiliate it. Let it know that you are choosing to play along out of love, not out of necessity. It will love and respect you all the more for it. If you scoff at the naiveté of your own mind, it may learn to respect you out of fear, but it will not love you. It will find a way to rebel. When the time for play is done, the eager mind will always want to remain at the playground a bit longer. It is energetic and enthusiastic and sometimes fails to recognize that the play, for the moment, is done. Gently remind it, that it needs its rest. That tomorrow is another day, another adventure on which you, its prized protagonist, will embark. 

As it slowly begins to rest, allow it to ease into your embrace. It may recount many of the adventures of the day: About the fantastical things it did and the not so great things that made it afraid. Give it your unconditional ear; listen to its every word as if it were the last. Trusting that it is safe in your embrace, allow it to gradually drift into silence. Slowly, surely let its rhythms become a more gentle flow.

Now, the mind is quiet again. Turn your attention inward. Close your eyes. Immerse yourself, once again into the darkness surrounding you. Allow everything to simply fall away. Forget yourself.  
 

A Pilgrimage to the Past

I am sitting in the front passenger seat, as the car honks and swerves its way through the dusty and chaotic Calcutta streets. Traffic, I am told, is usually much worse. Its Good Friday today, a national holiday. The streets are nearly empty by Calcutta’s standards.  Empty, isn’t the first word that comes to my mind, while witnessing the bustle outside. It just goes to show how long I’ve been away…

The last time I was in this city was 20 years ago. Back then, Calcutta was the closest thing to what I could call home. Its where my fondest memories of childhood were made. It’s the last place I remember being innocent.  The circumstances that led to me to leave Calcutta were ones that would, in many ways, shape my quest for self-discovery over the next 20 years. Up until that time, I had had no reason to question the imperfection of the world. My life had been an effortless continuum of experience, filled with love and adventure. I had lived and laughed without any doubt: about myself, about people and about life. Yet, the fragility of one’s own perception must eventually cause it to shatter. It is one of those unavoidable inevitabilities of life…

The chauffer exhibits a zen-like focus as he steers the car within inches of vehicles, humans and livestock. Blinking, in this kind of white knuckle traffic, is a luxury few drivers can afford. Cyclists, mini-buses, taxis, scooters, pedestrians, rickshaw-wallas and bullock carts, all compete for every inch of road available. In this city you don’t just move forward, you earn your way forward.

We are on our way to St. James’s: the all-boys school I attended as a child. Memories of weekly mass at the campus church, Monday morning inspection, buying treats at the tuck shop during lunch, goofing around with friends during class and getting regularly caned for forgetting to do my homework, are as alive in my mind today as if they had happened only yesterday.

The car pulls up to the front gates of the school. They are closed. I tell the chauffer that there is a second entrance further up the road, through the cemetery, that is usually kept open. 20 years later, my mind is able to recall this little detail without effort.  

The entrance through the cemetery is open as I predicted. I breeze by the perplexed watchman, with an air of authority that makes it appear as if I actually have some business being there. I have learnt that the only way to move forward in this city is by capitalizing on the hesitation of others. I know that if I falter even for a moment, he will ask me why I am there at which point any heart-warming story of revisiting my childhood would be met with an unsympathetic smirk followed by a request to abandon the premises. So instead, I stride forward with a stern sense of urgency which communicates to him that he had better have a darn good reason to waste my time. The ploy works and I leave him behind looking a little confused. From the corner of my eye I notice him follow me for a few steps before he changes his mind and decides to resume his post instead…

Within the grounds now, I find myself immersed in an infinite sequence of déjà vu. Returning here all these years later is surreal. The school grounds are quiet and eerily empty. So is my mind. I can hear my own breathing as I take one step at a time into my past. The presence surrounding me is palpable.  The air has a sacred quality - as if I have entered some ancient and holy ground. I feel a deep sense of reverence wash over me. Only now am I aware of why I had to come here. I have come to pay homage to myself.

This journey of the last twenty years has really been a pilgrimage. It began the moment I doubted my own existence and subsequently embarked on a quest to justify its purpose. That journey took me to places in the world I craved to experience, places in my mind I didn’t know existed and places in my heart I was too afraid to acknowledge.

No pilgrimage is complete until the pilgrim returns home. It is always the journey forward, to meet our gods that we consider the most virtuous and filled with promise. But little mention is ever made of the journey home, which is often less glorious because it seems to serve no great purpose. And yet, the gods we find along the way are only figments of our minds, which keep us searching endlessly onwards. The truly divine is what you find awaits you when your path brings you back to where it first began.

As I walk through the school grounds as if in a trance I am able to see how much everything seems to change. And how little it really changes. The day I left this city, I had little idea that I would only return when my pilgrimage was complete. Standing in the great courtyard of the St. James’s school for boys, it becomes clear to me that I never really left.

The Tyranny of the Mind

*The post below is my response to a question someone had about dealing with experiences of depression and PTSD. This person has already shown great insight in recognizing that there is far greater wisdom and benefit in 'allowing' the experience rather than suppressing or fighting it. But in attempting to allow the experience they feel trapped in an apparent dichotomy of how to deliberately allow an experience to happen. After all how does one control or contrive spontaneity? I have posted my response for any of my readers who may have experienced this dilemma or simply with the tyranny they have felt from their own minds, when immersed in depression or anxiety.*

Hi _, 

This pointer of "allowing" can be a tricky one because you can misinterpret it as another technique to try and control your experience. It is important to recognize that allowing is not the opposite of repressing or identifying. It is really an attitude of surrendering control.

Try this simple exercise - become aware of the rhythm of your breathing. Watch it closely. You will notice that as soon as you become aware of your breath, its rhythm changes. Suddenly, it goes from a nice, natural rhythm to a sort of controlled artificial rhythm. No matter how natural you try to make it, as long as you are trying to control the experience of your breathing, it will seem unnatural and contrived.

The process of allowing is similar to breathing. It happens naturally. It doesn't need your active involvement in order for it to happen. But if you try and make it into some sort of objective, then it can become a mechanical and artificial process too.

Your Mind can never know how to allow. It is not built for that purpose. Its job is to identify or suppress, those are its functions. Just as it makes no sense to use a computer to vacuum a carpet, the Mind  is not equipped to allow. At best it can do a sort of pseudo-allowing, kind of like you trying to force your breath to be as natural as possible. This is where a lot of people can get stuck, but it is exhausting and ultimately unfruitful.

Realize this. Allowing is not something you can 'do', because allowing is already happening. Right now you are experiencing deep depression. Right now you are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. Ask yourself this question - how are you experiencing these? How could these experiences even be possible if it wasn't already being allowed?

What the pointer of 'allowing' is really pointing to is not some new technique for your mind to gain dominion over life, but rather the very intelligence of Life itself, that lies at the heart of every experience. It is pointing to that dimension of your Consciousness that exists even prior to your Mind - prior to the your thoughts, emotions or any other mental events. That Consciousness is the foundation of your whole experience. And it here that the allowing happens.

While depression can feel debilitating, it is also a great opportunity to become aware of this deeper dimension within yourself. Depression and anxiety are tremendous tools for self-discovery, because they temporarily destabilize the mind. And it is in that window of opportunity, when your mind is still scrambling to regain its bearings, that the truth of your being can become even more apparent than ever before.

This is your own inner revolution against the tyranny of the Mind. The Mind has become an institution - like say a government - built on certain beliefs, principles and motivations. And like most government institutions it thrives on power and control. Yet this power and control is only apparent it is not real. The power of any government, no matter how oppressive, depends on the people that support it or fear it. The moment the people stop feeding it, the entire structure collapses like a house of cards.

Instead, of trying to build a government that promises freedom to its citizens (this exactly what is happening when the Mind tries to make 'allowing' a practice), recognize that freedom is already inherent within each and every person's experience. Freedom is already the case, for you. It always has been. Just like you don't need any government to tell you that you are free, you don't need your Mind's permission to tell you that you are free.

Go to the source of where the true power lies. Turn to the Consciousness without which the Mind could not even operate. It is a simple state of awareness. It is silent and watchful. You are already very familiar with it. So familiar perhaps, that you do not even realize it. It is your natural state before even a thought arises, before any sense of who you are arises.

Take some time to become present. Just to simply watch your experience as it happens, without trying to get involved, without doing anything, without any agendas. Whether you are sipping a cup of tea, or brushing your teeth, or suffering some obsessive thought, or lying in a deep depressive funk. Whatever the experience is, be quietly aware of it. In doing so, you will find that your perspective has subtly shifted, from being within the Mind, to being the "Witness of your Mind". This witness position has no opinion, no judgment, no involvement. It is simply aware.

As you become more familiar with this deeper aspect of your Consciousness, you will naturally begin to see that allowing is already happening, whether you like it or not. It has always been the case. Life cannot exist without it, just like your body cannot exist without breathing. The more and more you see this, the more and more you will begin to relax in your attitude towards yourself.

Ultimately, to come to a state of allowing happens when the mind surrenders control and aligns itself with the natural flow of Consciousness. It is the establishment of a true democracy within the mind: a government that places itself at the feet, rather than at the head, of the people. Your Mind is ultimately in the service of Consciousness. Yet, this can only happen when your allegiance shifts from the authority of the mind to the freedom that is inherent within Consciousness. 

The Personality Disguise

Your personality is a scrapbook. It is an album of collective identities, arranged in a unique way which sets it apart from another's. However, apart from the unique orientation of these identities, very little else is unique about you. This may be a statement that causes some people chagrin. In today's day and age we prefer to think of ourselves as individuals, each definitively unique and markedly different than the other. We like to celebrate ourselves for that very uniqueness and we like to celebrate it in others. As a society we exalt originality and base the value of a person on their ability to "stand out" in a crowd. Effectively, the more unique you are the more you are likely to be noticed among the masses. However, this kind of uniqueness is not synonymous with the word 'original'. In fact, contrary to what you have been led to believe, very little of your personality and who you think you are is original at all. Instead, every aspect of you is an imitation, a version of something you have seen, heard, experienced or been influenced by.

Starting with your physical appearance - your genetics are derived from those before you. You "look like" different parts of other people. Your emotional being is likewise also a derivative of your genetic inheritance as well as circumstantial/cultural conditioning. As a child you witnessed the emotional expressions of those around you and learned to emote accordingly. You realized that certain emotions were considered to be more beneficial than others and adapted your behaviour to try and maximize those that were considered acceptable and learned to minimize those that weren't. A baby cries and laughs freely as it pleases because it has yet to learn the rules of emoting. Today most adults are far less likely to burst into tears on a crowded bus than to burst into laughter. Your ability to feel emotion is something entirely personal to you; however how you "think you should feel emotion" and how you actually express emotion are both a function of your conditioning. 

But perhaps, the level at which we most identify with our sense of individuality is in our thoughts. And it is at this level that we are paradoxically the most unoriginal. The vast majority of thoughts that you have on a daily basis are repetitive and imitative. Your opinions are rarely ever your own. Even if your opinion is something that stands in stark contrast to popular belief or consensus, even if it is something completely radical and unheard of, it is not something you have invented. Opinions are never invented. They are simply derived. You may have a particularly creative way of rearranging the words in a sentence, or rearranging a the sequence of thoughts in an idea and in that sense may present something that seems more fresh and original than what others have heard before. But here as well, the uniqueness of your expression lies in the creative ways you are able to redress the old. At the end of the day, we are all just regurgitating. No one ever creates anything new. But this isn't meant to be a negative statement but rather if read carefully and seen clearly into can offer great hope and optimism for our entire species. 

We live in a Universe where nothing is ever created or destroyed. Just as the laws of physics state that neither matter nor energy can ever be created nor destroyed, so too within the realm of Conscious expression, including the emotional and the mental, nothing can ever be created or destroyed. No idea can ever be destroyed no matter how evil or destructive. No ideology can ever be suppressed forever. That is one of the most beautiful things about Conscious experience. There is no limit on what you can think. Similarly, no idea can ever be created. It can only be derived. Every idea that ever existed was based on an idea before it. Language itself arose from the need to express emotion and sensation in a more effective manner. Words themselves, were derived from the previously unintelligible grunts of our primitive ancestors. So regardless of which famous person said what in history, whether it was Socrates, Einstein, Marx or Thoreau  - each one of their insights and realizations was based on a history of hundreds and thousands of years of insights and realizations before them. Similarly, their insights set the stage for the thousands of years of insights that came and are yet to come after them. It is all so intricately and beautifully connected that to try and claim some individual propriety over a thought is absolutely absurd. When you talk about intellectual property, what you are effectively claiming is ownership of a thought process or an idea as if you actually created it. But that is just as absurd as claiming ownership of land as if we have some control or dominion over the Earth. That we act in such a manner is more the result of our social contracts with one another rather than any absolute reality. In reality, you cannot own anything because truthfully none of it belongs to you. You did not create it, neither your body, nor your emotion nor your intelligence.

The very fact that we come in with nothing and leave with nothing is an indication that none of it really belongs to us. It’s kind of like a playpen at a daycare where you can come in and play with the toys, and within the game you can claim "temporary ownership" of whatever you lay your hands on, but when it’s time to go home you don't get to take any of it with you. You were only permitted to borrow it for a while.

Similarly, your personality, even your name, is simply a temporary alias, just a borrowed identity. This name that means so much to you and is your unique identifier was fished out of a rolodex of a million baby names that your parents studied over. Your personality, the words you use, the inflection in your voice, your accent, your beliefs, your ideas about yourself and others, your value systems, your morality - are all the toys in the playpen that you can claim for a while as long as you are willing to play nice. When it’s time to go home however, you don't even get to take that name with you.

This can be an immensely liberating revelation if seen with the right perspective. The very fact that you are not bound to your name, your personality, even your emotions and your body is something that has the potential to radically shift your whole perspective of life. No longer can you claim to be the victim of your circumstances, of other people's intentions, even of your own thoughts and emotions. When you realize that none of it really belongs to you, but rather you have only borrowed it for a while, just that recognition can be extremely freeing. This is particularly evident in patients who are suffering from a debilitating illness or severe pain. As long as the illness, disease or pain is seen as something that is "yours" that "you own", that defines you, it can seem insurmountable and overwhelming. But the moment it is seen instead as some borrowed experience that must be experienced for a while, then that part of you that is most essentially you, that most intimate essence, can never be touched.

Prisoners on death row have experienced this sort of disassociation from their circumstances and have reported feelings of deep peace, joy and gratitude which seem to completely contradict their circumstances. The fact of the matter is that peace is not the result of the absence of war, strife, suffering and heartache - but ironically exists in spite of them and sometimes especially within them.

But the realization of the unoriginality of this person that you think you are is vital for liberation, because it is this "person" that you are essentially becoming liberated from. And by "the person" I mean all of it: the ideas, the emotions, the appearance, the desires, the passions, the pains, and the sufferings - all of it. When you see that it is all just a costume that you don in order to participate in this great drama of life - then you have the freedom to set aside that costume if and when you choose.

This doesn't mean the costume is a shackle that needs to be discarded and done away with. In fact, this notion has been one of the greatest traps within the whole history of man's quest for spiritual realization. It has been a trait of every religion and every discipline - this denial of the flesh, of the human, in an attempt to realize the divine. And yet that very desire to do away with the costume is a shackles in itself, it is what makes it a bondage. But when you can see that the costume serves a purpose, that it is your greatest disguise and a thing of sheer genius, one that allows you to participate and express your true self at will, then it is no longer a shackle. To be truly liberated is to be able to wear and remove your costume at will.

When you can perceive this whole person that you are: your name, your physique, your drives and passions, your thoughts and beliefs as all different parts of a fabric that has been painstakingly crafted for your own enjoyment and expression then you may begin to perceive the whole experience of your life with some levity. Because a great production is all this is and is all it was ever meant to be.

The Journey of a Lifetime

Imagine you are sitting in a train, gazing out the window. This train is powering on through the vast and scenic countryside. Farm after farm passes you by; you catch a glimpse here and there of farmers hard at work in their fields. Yet, they vanish from your sight no sooner than your curiosity is aroused. The mountains in the distance stay with you for a while longer. Massive and majestic, they seem like permanent fixtures in this world of your perception. They seem to move with you. They seem reliable companions. You doze off for a while, not knowing how long. And when you wake, the mountains are gone. Your majestic companions who seemed so steadfast and reliable have vanished without a trace, like wisps of cloud over the horizon. In their place, an expanse of yellow plains as far as the eye can see, and the river that has been by your side from the moment you began your journey. This river, she will never forsake you. She has always been there, since the very beginning. And yet, an hour comes when you see her branch away, ever so slightly at first. Then further, and further. Now she is no longer parallel to your path but moves away at an angle, farther and farther. You strain to trace her with your eyes, but she fades mercilessly out of existence. Now, she too has gone. You are left with an unfamiliar terrain. Fields appear and fields pass, forests appear and forests pass. Mountains again, newer and more majestic, pass away as effortlessly as if they were a breeze. A new river appears and stays with you for a while. Waterfalls, villages, people, livestock, cities, canyons, plains and tunnels - all pass before your eyes. Each one is real only in this moment, but in the next merely a figment of your imagination.

But the whole world already exists in one moment. It is only you who are passing through it. You cannot help it. You are only a passenger on this train.

Time is the landscape through which you are traveling. It may seem, from your vantage point, that it is Time that is passing and you who are stationary. But just like the passenger on the train, you are only a passenger moving through the landscapes of time. Your body is the carriage in which you are sitting, your mind the train's engine propelling you through time. Moment after moment passes you by, you catch a glimpse here and there of humor or goodwill, but no sooner is your curiosity aroused that it vanishes from your sight. Your beliefs and your ambition loom majestically in your vision like permanent fixtures in your perception. They move with you, like reliable companions. But you awake one day to find they are gone, without a trace like wisps of cloud over the horizon. In their place, a vast empty landscape of uncertainty. At least, love will never forsake you: Love, that has been there since the moment you began your journey. But then a moment comes where it begins to branch away, ever so slightly at first and then further and further, it fades mercilessly out of your existence. You are all alone now and steeped in uncertainty. Yet the movement forward continues unceasing. Humor and goodwill appear and recede, joys and sorrows appear and pass. New beliefs and ambitions, newer and more majestic, pass away as effortlessly as if they were a breeze. New love appears and stays with you a while. Good fortune, camaraderie, regret, unhappiness, success, abundance, anger and insecurity - all pass before your eyes. Each one is real only in this moment, but in the next only a figment of your imagination.

Everything passes. Nothing remains. Only memory, but even that passes. Solidity is the appearance you have chosen to accept as your reality. But reality has no real solidity. It is the stuff of dreams, smoke and mirrors. 

As you watch time flowing past you, become aware of yourself flowing through Time. Regardless, of what passes, has already passed or is about to pass; regardless, of the love, joy, sorrow, regret, successes and failures that appear, disappear and reappear relentlessly; become aware of the Eye of Perception that is witnessing it all happen. It is your Eye. Even as the world changes, it does not change. Even as the moments pass, it does not pass. Even as your body and mind age, it does not age.

This is the world in which nothing remains, where everything appears and disappears relentlessly. Yet, the Eye of Perception, has always been present. It never appeared and can never disappear, it has no beginning nor an end. Because, it does not belong to this world. It is what has created it. 

As with everything else, you too will pass one day. Your journey from childhood to adulthood and finally old age will be complete. The vehicle of your body will no longer be of service, the engine of your mind, decommissioned. An entire lifetime of love, ambition, joy, sorrow, success, failure, abundance and regret will be nothing more than a memory, the stuff of legend, the topic of a warm dinner conversation. 

But the Eye of Perception, its journey complete, will disembark from the vehicle having arrived at its destination at last. With a deep breath and a single stride, it will return once again to that infinity of existence from where it came: that sea of possibility where all realities can simultaneously coexist; where every life it has lived is nothing more than a cherished dream.  

This is the journey of a lifetime. And You are more than what meets the Eye.

The Power of the Feminine Principle

The gender divide is the oldest and arguably most prominent tool of discrimination that we have employed as a species to define who we are as people, to structure our societies and the values on which we base our lives.  We have culturally entrained our minds to zero in on the differences that exist between the two sexes while losing sight of what the two have in common. Through religion, culture, tradition, art, social norm, behaviour, attitude and belief we have, over millennia, learned to magnify that fine line of separation into a solid, insurmountable wall of distinction. Even in our modern day societies, in which we proudly stand for each other’s rights and celebrate these differences, our attitudes ironically only serve to reinforce that wall of separation. After all, just because you have learned to become more friendly and accepting of your neighbor doesn't change the fact that a fence still exists between your land and theirs. Rather than simply celebrating our differences and leaving it at that, its time to take a closer look at the reality behind some of these perceived differences and shift our attention instead to what it is that makes us the same.

The classical view in science was that the female form was the default template during the stage of fetal formation. And it was thought that with the introduction of certain genes further development of the male sex organs as well as the hormone testosterone is what led to the development of the male form. This view was very much in keeping with traditional and cultural views of males being "so much more" than the female. As we developed as a species through competition and conquest, through invasion and violence, through dominance and subjugation, through aggression and brute force, it became increasingly evident that the male form was more useful in these regards than that of the female. Therefore, the value of the male form over the female became simply a function of power and use.

This re-iteration of the ideal that the male is bigger, better, faster, stronger, more useful, more enduring, more intellectual, more innovative is something that continues to operate within our collective psyches even today. I do not refer simply to cultures that have yet to embrace women's rights, I am referring to our own culture here in the West. Even today, we value the person who has a greater ambition and competitiveness, is more aggressive, more dominant, more powerful physically, economically and socially, less yielding and more assertive. In other words, we value the person who is more "masculine". Except, now we have brought ourselves around to accepting that the women in our society can live up to these virtues just as well as the men can. And this is the ultimate double-standard: one that accepts equality of the sexes on the condition that we continue to uphold the masculine principle as the highest virtue in our society. 

This is evident in our social attitudes. For example, it is acceptable, fashionable and even admirable for a heterosexual woman to dress like a man, whereas it is unacceptable for a heterosexual man to dress like a woman. Women who work in traditionally male professions are celebrated, while men who work in traditionally female professions are far less respected. A woman who chooses a career life over the home is held in higher regard than the man who chooses to stay at home and parent over pursuing a career. In our efforts to establish a gender equality, what we have really established is a society in which women are celebrated for their abilty to be more "male" in their outlooks, their desires and their attitudes.

But let's take a look at these apparent "differences" between the two sexes. The classical view in science is now being replaced with more progressive findings in modern genetics which reveal that the female form is not the basic template of the fetus. Instead, during fetal development there is a steady interaction between pro-male, anti-male, pro-female and anti-female genes. This flux of interactions keeps the balance delicately shifting from one side to the other in a genetic ballet that is so subtle that it could really go either way. At the end of it all, a single gene can make the difference, creating just enough of a skew to create the male or female form. The difference is so subtle and so trivial, that it makes you wonder what all the hoopla is really about.

There is no such thing as a pure male or female. We all contain within us genes and hormones that exhibit both characteristics. The male and female distinction then is not some black and white boundary line but rather a skew that places each one of us somewhere in the spectrum of greys. Our physicality ends up being the defining line on how we ultimately end up identifying. However, this desire to fix onto a single position within that spectrum and hold onto it for dear life is what ultimately stalls our ability to evolve and progress as both individuals and as a society. Your true identity is not some fixed point on this spectrum called "very male" or "very female" or "slightly male" or "slightly female". Your true identity lies in your ability to span the entire spectrum because that is the potential that lies within you. Your expression may ultimately be whatever you choose it to be, but your perspective need not be restricted.

The feminine principle is a powerful principle and lies at the very heart of creation itself. It is the principle of intuition rather than intellect, of harmony rather than aggression, of flexibility rather than rigidity, of collaboration rather than competition, of inclusiveness rather than exclusiveness, of compassion rather than ambition, of aesthetic rather than function, of yielding rather than controlling.

Both the masculine and feminine principles operate within each of you, regardless of your physical gender. You are not as male or female as you think you are. These two principles are the two symbiotic movements of Life that balance each other and rely on each other to operate, just like your in-breath and out-breath. Every day, you are masculine in one moment and feminine in the next. At times you are demanding and at others yielding, at times rigid and at others flexible. You can be compassionate and yet self-motivated, you can be motivated by function but then appreciative of aesthetics. You have the ability to display power but also demonstrate grace, you can be competitive but sometimes collaborative. It is in discovering the play of the two principles within yourself and in nature that you can truly come to an appreciation of the value each holds.

Yes, your body is physically only male or female. But as we our discovering, even that is not something unchangeable. But what are you besides just your body? What are you aside from your genitals? How much of your identity do you derive from them?  What is your heart and your spirit? Does it have a gender identity?

The cultures in the East have long valued the presence of both these principles. In martial arts, it is the art of yielding to the aggression of your opponent that allows you to turn their aggression against them. The philosophies of Buddhism, Taoism and Hinduism all celebrate the feminine principle as one of the highest virtues. It is the foundational principle, one that bases the birth of intelligence in the female principle of Intuition before it is translated to the male principle of the Intellect. It perceives the Unity beneath the separation, the harmony beneath the turmoil.

To re-connect with the feminine principle is to reconnect with the core of our spirit. For a long time now we have, as a species, been lost in our minds and our material ambitions and have gradually alienated ourselves from one another and from the very Earth that provides us sustenance. There is a reason why we call her Mother Earth, why we refer to it as Mother Nature. It is the movement of compassion and abundance for all creation regardless of distinction. There is a reason why some of the most oppressive regimes in the world were those most strongly based in the masculine principle. It is the principle that seeks to control, separate and subjugate.

What is necessary in the end is a balanced expression of the two: in which the masculine feeds the feminine and the feminine nourishes the masculine. Bruce Lee is his famous televised interview referred to it as the Art of bringing together Spontaneity and Control in a single unified expression, one that formed the basis of his martial art and life's work. It is the only purpose that we are here for. 

We each have an opportunity, man and woman alike, to rediscover the value of the feminine principle that lies within all of us. It is a latent power with immense potential. Through rediscovering this principle we may begin to shift the masculine skew in our minds (that we are all equally responsible for, men and women) back towards a more harmonic and balanced perspective of the two, both internally within ourselves and externally in our society. 

Recognize that it is not "man" and "woman" that defines who you are, but rather that indivisible human spirit which encompasses the two, that is the essence of your true identity.   

Dealing with Obsessive Thoughts

This was a response I wrote to a query about obsessive negative thought patterns, that I felt would be worth sharing with a lot of people out there who have experienced something similar:

There is nothing wrong with obsessive thinking. Rather obsessive thoughts are the mind’s way of bringing to your attention that there is some energy suppression that has reached a pressurized state within your psyche and is demanding release. The body uses the same mechanism in the form of pain, to bring to your attention that there is a part of your body that may be in need of healing. From this perspective, neither physical pain, nor psychological suffering is something terrible that needs to be gotten rid of. Rather they are necessary mechanisms that allow you to be aware of what needs your attention. This is the first step, to accepting the obsessiveness of your thoughts.

The second is to recognize that your thoughts have very little to do with reality. Your thoughts are merely signposts that point your attention. The more obsessive the thought the more an indication that your compassionate attention, not fearful rejection, is what is necessary. Allow the thoughts to guide you to a deeper place within yourself that you normally would not have a chance to be aware of.

Become aware of those moments in which you are not obsessing about that thought. Even if they are few and far between, be aware of them. Moments of distraction when you are preoccupied in cooking or watching a TV show or in a joke someone is telling you. In that moment, if you are aware enough you will notice how that negative self-image you have of yourself simply drops away. Gradually, you will see the connection between your thoughts and self-image. You will see how you literally become this negative version of yourself the moment the thought arises. This is just a means of realizing that this image you have of yourself is not real – because it depends on your thinking to create it.

However, even this recognition will not arrest the momentum of the obsessive thought. The ultimate purpose of this, as I mentioned, is healing. Just like physical pain will continue to draw your attention to a wound in your body that needs your tender attention and care, the momentum of thinking is fueled by psychological pain which is similarly drawing your attention to something that needs healing. That healing can only happen through release of that energy. That release can only happen if you allow it to.

Allowing is not about trying to control your experience. It is not about trying to avoid your obsessive thoughts, nor is it about identifying with them. One is like the brake pedal of the car, the other is like the accelerator. Hitting the brake may momentarily pause the momentum, but as long as there is still fuel the car keeps running. Take your feet off both pedals and allow the fuel to naturally spend itself. These obsessive thoughts will come to a natural conclusion when you stop obsessing about how obsessive they are. Do you see the connection? Do you see how your fear or denial both serve to equally fuel the fire?

Be patient and compassionate with your mind, especially with its obsessions. It is all a part of a larger mechanism whose only purpose is to bring you to a more whole and complete version of yourself.