There is nothing wrong with obsessive thinking. Rather obsessive thoughts are the mind’s way of bringing to your attention that there is some energy suppression that has reached a pressurized state within your psyche and is demanding release. The body uses the same mechanism in the form of pain, to bring to your attention that there is a part of your body that may be in need of healing. From this perspective, neither physical pain, nor psychological suffering is something terrible that needs to be gotten rid of. Rather they are necessary mechanisms that allow you to be aware of what needs your attention. This is the first step, to accepting the obsessiveness of your thoughts.
The second is to recognize that your thoughts have very little to do with reality. Your thoughts are merely signposts that point your attention. The more obsessive the thought the more an indication that your compassionate attention, not fearful rejection, is what is necessary. Allow the thoughts to guide you to a deeper place within yourself that you normally would not have a chance to be aware of.
Become aware of those moments in which you are not obsessing about that thought. Even if they are few and far between, be aware of them. Moments of distraction when you are preoccupied in cooking or watching a TV show or in a joke someone is telling you. In that moment, if you are aware enough you will notice how that negative self-image you have of yourself simply drops away. Gradually, you will see the connection between your thoughts and self-image. You will see how you literally become this negative version of yourself the moment the thought arises. This is just a means of realizing that this image you have of yourself is not real – because it depends on your thinking to create it.
However, even this recognition will not arrest the momentum of the obsessive thought. The ultimate purpose of this, as I mentioned, is healing. Just like physical pain will continue to draw your attention to a wound in your body that needs your tender attention and care, the momentum of thinking is fueled by psychological pain which is similarly drawing your attention to something that needs healing. That healing can only happen through release of that energy. That release can only happen if you allow it to.
Allowing is not about trying to control your experience. It is not about trying to avoid your obsessive thoughts, nor is it about identifying with them. One is like the brake pedal of the car, the other is like the accelerator. Hitting the brake may momentarily pause the momentum, but as long as there is still fuel the car keeps running. Take your feet off both pedals and allow the fuel to naturally spend itself. These obsessive thoughts will come to a natural conclusion when you stop obsessing about how obsessive they are. Do you see the connection? Do you see how your fear or denial both serve to equally fuel the fire?
Be patient and compassionate with your mind, especially with its obsessions. It is all a part of a larger mechanism whose only purpose is to bring you to a more whole and complete version of yourself.
