You cannot resolve conflict; you can only rise above it. Conflict has no resolution. Nor is it meant to. Conflict is an inherent and necessary mechanism by which this Universe evolves and expands. Without conflict, change would be impossible.
Most creatures thrive on conflict. They are compelled towards it and are strengthened by it. If you witness nature at work, conflict is evident everywhere. Trees are in conflict with one another for sun and soil. The grass in your lawn is in constant conflict with the weeds that threaten to overrun them. Animals conflict with one another over territory and food. Even the elements are in perpetual conflict as water erodes rock, as the sun vaporizes the sea, as fire devours forest, as the ocean floods the land, as the ground swallows life.
Conflict is at the very basis of your body's vital functioning. The cells in your body are in conflict with one another for nutrients, neurons are in conflict with one another to transmit information to your brain, your immune system is in conflict with external agents attempting to penetrate your body as we speak.
Even within the mechanics of physics, friction is the conflict by which these mechanics can even exist. Your arm is in conflict with the shopping bag as you carry it, your feet are in conflict with the ground as you move, your car is in conflict with the road as you accelerate, an airplane is in conflict with gravity as it ascends. Conflict is the mechanism by which movement can happen. Without conflict everything ceases to exist.
As a result, any talk about 'resolving' conflict is to misunderstand the purpose that conflict serves. Conflict is not a mistake, never a mistake. You can attempt to resolve the context in which the conflict exists, but it will just assume another context and the process perpetuates itself. For example, you may choose to end the conflict your feet have with the pavement by sitting down, but then you will experience the conflict of gravity preventing you from moving forward. You may choose to sit down instead in a moving train but then you will sense the conflict of the train rocking against the tracks.
Historically as well, human society has evolved from one context of conflict to another: from tribalism to monarchism, feudalism, imperialism, fascism, authoritarianism, communism, socialism, capitalism each with its own flavor of inherent conflict. Where socialism addresses the conflict of sharing of resources it creates the conflict of stunting individual growth, where capitalism addresses the conflict of individual expression it perpetuates the conflict of distribution of resources. Each endeavour to resolve one context of conflict gives rise to another context of conflict.
Just like cutting edge medication eradicates a disease causing virus, the same medication is also responsible for the virus's evolution and ability to mutate into a newer and more resistant strain. The resolution of one conflict creates the context for another. A rebel may succeed in overthrowing an oppressive regime and thus ending that particular flavor of conflict it brought with it, but the new system brings with it a whole host of new challenges and new conflicts.
When you speak about resolving conflict what you are really speaking about then is changing the context in which the conflict is happening. And changing the context is necessary when the conflict has exhausted its purpose. The purpose has only been exhausted when the environment ceases to thrive from the conflict any longer.
The first few billion years of our galaxy were those of great cosmic conflict. This conflict allowed for the creation of a higher order of organization within the solar system. Once this organization was achieved in the form of our sun and the planets, the conflict was no longer necessary. The barbaric cultures of the past once thrived on conflict. Wars, scourges, invasions, conquering and pillaging were the necessary means by which the various cultures of the world made contact and assimilated. Civilization grew and thrived on the blood of the innocent, for centuries. As we entered the 20th century however, the collective consciousness of our species began to realize that physical conflict was no longer a necessary experience for our evolution as a species. Now in the 21st century, the growing distaste for this sort of conflict has rendered war and bloodshed (although it still occurs) more and more irrelevant and collectively unbeneficial. The modern world is far too inter-related and interdependent to resort to physical conflict except as a last resort. Physical conflict has served its purpose in globally connecting our species. Now, the new context of conflict has become a technological and fiscal one.
Even within your own personal life, you will notice the context continuously changes. The conflict you experienced as a child within the playground was dropped for a higher order of conflict that you experienced as an adolescent rebelling against the world which you then traded in for the conflict of being an adult struggling to pay the mortgage. The conflict of being single and lonely gives way to the conflict of being married and in a relationship. The conflict of being a low level career nobody transforms into the pressures of being a high level power player.
As long as you continue to define yourself within the context in which the conflict is happening, you will remain caught within the dynamics of the conflict and will experience the full brunt of it. But the moment you elevate your perception, you will find that although the conflict continues to exist on one level you have the ability to gain a deeper perspective on this conflict and can remain somewhat unaffected by it.
For example, a kindergarten teacher was a child herself once. As two kids scrapping with one another approach her bawling to resolve their differences, she is only able to do so because she is not relating to them from the same level of perception that they are operating from. She is able to see through the drama and yet knows at the same time that this kind of conflict is essential for the children’s evolution. However, she herself would find no benefit in getting into a scrap with another child over which toy to play with. Her perception has transcended that level of conflict a long time ago.
Wisdom can only function from a perspective that has transcended the circumstance. As long as the perception is subject to and dictated by the circumstance, wisdom cannot operate and as a result of which no true resolution to the context of conflict can be found. When you are 19 and madly in love, you do not have the capacity to see all the ways in which you are deluding yourself. It is only when you have experienced enough of that sort of drama in your life and have no more time or energy for it anymore can you witness it from a perspective that has transcended that conflict. Thus when you are a parent and witness your own child experiencing that sort of drama, you may guide them with a little wisdom. And yet any wise parent simultaneously knows, that belittling their child for experiencing that conflict is not productive either. Since the conflict is the necessary catalyst for the child's perception to transcend the circumstance.
If you watch the close-up dynamics of the internal combustion engine of a luxury car, it feels like a tremendously violent experience. A camera lodged within the car's mechanics captures the explosion of fuel into flame, the deafening roar of the motor, the metallic screech of the brakes, the powerful hiss of the pistons, the frenzied movement of the tires, the stench of rubber burning against the asphalt. All this is a tremendously violent conflict happening as you drive and you are aware of it. And yet, from your elevated perception, the ride is the smoothest you have ever experienced. You have accepted that the conflict on the mechanical level is a necessary experience that facilitates the experience of pleasure from the human perspective. It’s all a choice.
Transcending conflict does not make you apathetic towards it, rather it makes you more effective in your ability to address it. No kindergarten child, no matter how enthusiastic, can resolve a kindergarten conflict as effectively as the teacher can. You can only dictate the conflict, when the conflict has lost its ability to dictate you.
If you are experiencing conflict right now, allow the experience to exist. Let go of the urge to resist it, because your resistance is what keeps it in place. Take a step back from your conflict and witness it. See all the ways in which it is necessary, all the ways in which it is not. Recognize that the conflict exists only for two reasons - the first is because you are able to thrive off it, the second is because you are meant to eventually transcend it. You cannot transcend until you have finished benefiting from it, you cannot benefit from it any longer when it’s time to transcend. Your own suffering is your indication of where you fall within that spectrum. When the experience of that conflict becomes so distasteful to you, you will begin to automatically reject it. Just like your body accepts water until its thirst is satiated. If you continue to feed it water it will begin to bloat and will finally vomit it up.
Ultimately, all human experience is an experience of conflict within one context or another. The context is ever changing but the conflict is constant. When you no longer sense the need to define yourself by any of these contexts then your perspective becomes free to transcend the experience itself. You are no longer motivated by human drama, personal or collective, and yet have the ability to perceive it in a whole new light. Even as you continue to be a part of, and to participate in its dynamics, you are not beholden to it. Free of the need to resolve anything, you have the capacity to channel the wisdom of a higher perspective into the conflict. Just like the kindergarten teacher is able guide the resolution of the child's conflict, you are able to more effectively guide a resolution to the human conflict. Rather than with passion, which is an effect of being caught within the drama, you are able to respond with compassion which can only result from having transcended it.
Most creatures thrive on conflict. They are compelled towards it and are strengthened by it. If you witness nature at work, conflict is evident everywhere. Trees are in conflict with one another for sun and soil. The grass in your lawn is in constant conflict with the weeds that threaten to overrun them. Animals conflict with one another over territory and food. Even the elements are in perpetual conflict as water erodes rock, as the sun vaporizes the sea, as fire devours forest, as the ocean floods the land, as the ground swallows life.
Conflict is at the very basis of your body's vital functioning. The cells in your body are in conflict with one another for nutrients, neurons are in conflict with one another to transmit information to your brain, your immune system is in conflict with external agents attempting to penetrate your body as we speak.
Even within the mechanics of physics, friction is the conflict by which these mechanics can even exist. Your arm is in conflict with the shopping bag as you carry it, your feet are in conflict with the ground as you move, your car is in conflict with the road as you accelerate, an airplane is in conflict with gravity as it ascends. Conflict is the mechanism by which movement can happen. Without conflict everything ceases to exist.
As a result, any talk about 'resolving' conflict is to misunderstand the purpose that conflict serves. Conflict is not a mistake, never a mistake. You can attempt to resolve the context in which the conflict exists, but it will just assume another context and the process perpetuates itself. For example, you may choose to end the conflict your feet have with the pavement by sitting down, but then you will experience the conflict of gravity preventing you from moving forward. You may choose to sit down instead in a moving train but then you will sense the conflict of the train rocking against the tracks.
Historically as well, human society has evolved from one context of conflict to another: from tribalism to monarchism, feudalism, imperialism, fascism, authoritarianism, communism, socialism, capitalism each with its own flavor of inherent conflict. Where socialism addresses the conflict of sharing of resources it creates the conflict of stunting individual growth, where capitalism addresses the conflict of individual expression it perpetuates the conflict of distribution of resources. Each endeavour to resolve one context of conflict gives rise to another context of conflict.
Just like cutting edge medication eradicates a disease causing virus, the same medication is also responsible for the virus's evolution and ability to mutate into a newer and more resistant strain. The resolution of one conflict creates the context for another. A rebel may succeed in overthrowing an oppressive regime and thus ending that particular flavor of conflict it brought with it, but the new system brings with it a whole host of new challenges and new conflicts.
When you speak about resolving conflict what you are really speaking about then is changing the context in which the conflict is happening. And changing the context is necessary when the conflict has exhausted its purpose. The purpose has only been exhausted when the environment ceases to thrive from the conflict any longer.
The first few billion years of our galaxy were those of great cosmic conflict. This conflict allowed for the creation of a higher order of organization within the solar system. Once this organization was achieved in the form of our sun and the planets, the conflict was no longer necessary. The barbaric cultures of the past once thrived on conflict. Wars, scourges, invasions, conquering and pillaging were the necessary means by which the various cultures of the world made contact and assimilated. Civilization grew and thrived on the blood of the innocent, for centuries. As we entered the 20th century however, the collective consciousness of our species began to realize that physical conflict was no longer a necessary experience for our evolution as a species. Now in the 21st century, the growing distaste for this sort of conflict has rendered war and bloodshed (although it still occurs) more and more irrelevant and collectively unbeneficial. The modern world is far too inter-related and interdependent to resort to physical conflict except as a last resort. Physical conflict has served its purpose in globally connecting our species. Now, the new context of conflict has become a technological and fiscal one.
Even within your own personal life, you will notice the context continuously changes. The conflict you experienced as a child within the playground was dropped for a higher order of conflict that you experienced as an adolescent rebelling against the world which you then traded in for the conflict of being an adult struggling to pay the mortgage. The conflict of being single and lonely gives way to the conflict of being married and in a relationship. The conflict of being a low level career nobody transforms into the pressures of being a high level power player.
As long as you continue to define yourself within the context in which the conflict is happening, you will remain caught within the dynamics of the conflict and will experience the full brunt of it. But the moment you elevate your perception, you will find that although the conflict continues to exist on one level you have the ability to gain a deeper perspective on this conflict and can remain somewhat unaffected by it.
For example, a kindergarten teacher was a child herself once. As two kids scrapping with one another approach her bawling to resolve their differences, she is only able to do so because she is not relating to them from the same level of perception that they are operating from. She is able to see through the drama and yet knows at the same time that this kind of conflict is essential for the children’s evolution. However, she herself would find no benefit in getting into a scrap with another child over which toy to play with. Her perception has transcended that level of conflict a long time ago.
Wisdom can only function from a perspective that has transcended the circumstance. As long as the perception is subject to and dictated by the circumstance, wisdom cannot operate and as a result of which no true resolution to the context of conflict can be found. When you are 19 and madly in love, you do not have the capacity to see all the ways in which you are deluding yourself. It is only when you have experienced enough of that sort of drama in your life and have no more time or energy for it anymore can you witness it from a perspective that has transcended that conflict. Thus when you are a parent and witness your own child experiencing that sort of drama, you may guide them with a little wisdom. And yet any wise parent simultaneously knows, that belittling their child for experiencing that conflict is not productive either. Since the conflict is the necessary catalyst for the child's perception to transcend the circumstance.
If you watch the close-up dynamics of the internal combustion engine of a luxury car, it feels like a tremendously violent experience. A camera lodged within the car's mechanics captures the explosion of fuel into flame, the deafening roar of the motor, the metallic screech of the brakes, the powerful hiss of the pistons, the frenzied movement of the tires, the stench of rubber burning against the asphalt. All this is a tremendously violent conflict happening as you drive and you are aware of it. And yet, from your elevated perception, the ride is the smoothest you have ever experienced. You have accepted that the conflict on the mechanical level is a necessary experience that facilitates the experience of pleasure from the human perspective. It’s all a choice.
Transcending conflict does not make you apathetic towards it, rather it makes you more effective in your ability to address it. No kindergarten child, no matter how enthusiastic, can resolve a kindergarten conflict as effectively as the teacher can. You can only dictate the conflict, when the conflict has lost its ability to dictate you.
If you are experiencing conflict right now, allow the experience to exist. Let go of the urge to resist it, because your resistance is what keeps it in place. Take a step back from your conflict and witness it. See all the ways in which it is necessary, all the ways in which it is not. Recognize that the conflict exists only for two reasons - the first is because you are able to thrive off it, the second is because you are meant to eventually transcend it. You cannot transcend until you have finished benefiting from it, you cannot benefit from it any longer when it’s time to transcend. Your own suffering is your indication of where you fall within that spectrum. When the experience of that conflict becomes so distasteful to you, you will begin to automatically reject it. Just like your body accepts water until its thirst is satiated. If you continue to feed it water it will begin to bloat and will finally vomit it up.
Ultimately, all human experience is an experience of conflict within one context or another. The context is ever changing but the conflict is constant. When you no longer sense the need to define yourself by any of these contexts then your perspective becomes free to transcend the experience itself. You are no longer motivated by human drama, personal or collective, and yet have the ability to perceive it in a whole new light. Even as you continue to be a part of, and to participate in its dynamics, you are not beholden to it. Free of the need to resolve anything, you have the capacity to channel the wisdom of a higher perspective into the conflict. Just like the kindergarten teacher is able guide the resolution of the child's conflict, you are able to more effectively guide a resolution to the human conflict. Rather than with passion, which is an effect of being caught within the drama, you are able to respond with compassion which can only result from having transcended it.
