Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Tyranny of the Mind

*The post below is my response to a question someone had about dealing with experiences of depression and PTSD. This person has already shown great insight in recognizing that there is far greater wisdom and benefit in 'allowing' the experience rather than suppressing or fighting it. But in attempting to allow the experience they feel trapped in an apparent dichotomy of how to deliberately allow an experience to happen. After all how does one control or contrive spontaneity? I have posted my response for any of my readers who may have experienced this dilemma or simply with the tyranny they have felt from their own minds, when immersed in depression or anxiety.*

Hi _, 

This pointer of "allowing" can be a tricky one because you can misinterpret it as another technique to try and control your experience. It is important to recognize that allowing is not the opposite of repressing or identifying. It is really an attitude of surrendering control.
Try this simple exercise - become aware of the rhythm of your breathing. Watch it closely. You will notice that as soon as you become aware of your breath, its rhythm changes. Suddenly, it goes from a nice, natural rhythm to a sort of controlled artificial rhythm. No matter how natural you try to make it, as long as you are trying to control the experience of your breathing, it will seem unnatural and contrived.
The process of allowing is similar to breathing. It happens naturally. It doesn't need your active involvement in order for it to happen. But if you try and make it into some sort of objective, then it can become a mechanical and artificial process too.
Your Mind can never know how to allow. It is not built for that purpose. Its job is to identify or suppress, those are its functions. Just as it makes no sense to use a computer to vacuum a carpet, the Mind  is not equipped to allow. At best it can do a sort of pseudo-allowing, kind of like you trying to force your breath to be as natural as possible. This is where a lot of people can get stuck, but it is exhausting and ultimately unfruitful.
Realize this. Allowing is not something you can 'do', because allowing is already happening. Right now you are experiencing deep depression. Right now you are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder. Ask yourself this question - how are you experiencing these? How could these experiences even be possible if it wasn't already being allowed?
What the pointer of 'allowing' is really pointing to is not some new technique for your mind to gain dominion over life, but rather the very intelligence of Life itself, that lies at the heart of every experience. It is pointing to that dimension of your Consciousness that exists even prior to your Mind - prior to the your thoughts, emotions or any other mental events. That Consciousness is the foundation of your whole experience. And it here that the allowing happens.
While depression can feel debilitating, it is also a great opportunity to become aware of this deeper dimension within yourself. Depression and anxiety are tremendous tools for self-discovery, because they temporarily destabilize the mind. And it is in that window of opportunity, when your mind is still scrambling to regain its bearings, that the truth of your being can become even more apparent than ever before.
This is your own inner revolution against the tyranny of the Mind. The Mind has become an institution - like say a government - built on certain beliefs, principles and motivations. And like most government institutions it thrives on power and control. Yet this power and control is only apparent it is not real. The power of any government, no matter how oppressive, depends on the people that support it or fear it. The moment the people stop feeding it, the entire structure collapses like a house of cards.
Instead, of trying to build a government that promises freedom to its citizens (this exactly what is happening when the Mind tries to make 'allowing' a practice), recognize that freedom is already inherent within each and every person's experience. Freedom is already the case, for you. It always has been. Just like you don't need any government to tell you that you are free, you don't need your Mind's permission to tell you that you are free.
Go to the source of where the true power lies. Turn to the Consciousness without which the Mind could not even operate. It is a simple state of awareness. It is silent and watchful. You are already very familiar with it. So familiar perhaps, that you do not even realize it. It is your natural state before even a thought arises, before any sense of who you are arises.
Take some time to become present. Just to simply watch your experience as it happens, without trying to get involved, without doing anything, without any agendas. Whether you are sipping a cup of tea, or brushing your teeth, or suffering some obsessive thought, or lying in a deep depressive funk. Whatever the experience is, be quietly aware of it. In doing so, you will find that your perspective has subtly shifted, from being within the Mind, to being the "Witness of your Mind". This witness position has no opinion, no judgment, no involvement. It is simply aware.
As you become more familiar with this deeper aspect of your Consciousness, you will naturally begin to see that allowing is already happening, whether you like it or not. It has always been the case. Life cannot exist without it, just like your body cannot exist without breathing. The more and more you see this, the more and more you will begin to relax in your attitude towards yourself.
Ultimately, to come to a state of allowing happens when the mind surrenders control and aligns itself with the natural flow of Consciousness. It is the establishment of a true democracy within the mind: a government that places itself at the feet, rather than at the head, of the people. Your Mind is ultimately in the service of Consciousness. Yet, this can only happen when your allegiance shifts from the authority of the mind to the freedom that is inherent within Consciousness. 

3 comments:

Deepti said...

Great read. I was wondering if you could help me with one of my current "issues".

As of a few months ago, I realized that I face certain feelings of panic/anxiety when I "don't know" something. This all started when I panicked during an exam last year, when I couldn't find the answer to a question. At the time, I only panicked in testing situations. However, ever since I've started this "allowing" and releasing this suppressed energy, this panic can arise when I can't find an answer to anything or can't remember something, no matter how petty the question may be. Beforehand, I would only panic in testing situations. But, it's different now that the release has started. For example, now, if I can't remember what somebody's last name was, I can start to feel some anxiety. Or even if I visit an old website I used to use and I cannot remember my username, I start to feel some panic sensations. But mainly now, my main problem is "not remembering" - if I told myself I had to do some task, and then a minute later I can't remember what I was thinking/what that task was, I can start to feel some panic as well.

I suspect it all originated from that one exam where I couldn't find the answer to a question. Basically, my mind and body get into a panic when I "don't know" or especially "can't remember" something I was thinking, even if it's something unimportant. How should I approach this from a mental standpoint (to expedite this release, per se), in addition to allowing all the feelings of anxiety/panic when they arise (it is very tough)? My mind just tries to look for any answer it can hold onto, even if I know it's a wrong answer, to try to lower the panic, because it feels like when I really can't find an answer (true or false), there is something building up inside of me begging for an answer, like I might explode at any minute if I can't find or can't remember, and it is very unpleasant. Should I try to "not find" an answer to mind's questions, and allow all these feelings? Is me finding an answer to everything, out of fear, just delaying this release? But, sometimes it is necessary to find an answer - so I am kind of confused. For example, when I am taking a test and I can't answer a question, I can't just leave the test and "allow" the feelings - I have to keep pushing despite the anxiety and panic and try to come up with an answer.

Please e-mail me at deeptiforlife@yahoo.com , your insights are great and you could really help me a lot. Thank you so much

Shi-Bu said...

Deepti,
The purpose of anxiety is to take you deeper and deeper into the heart of the issue. Previously, you thought that this anxiety was only performance or test related. However, now you are coming to see that this anxiety is more of an existential nature. In other words, it is no longer related to any particular context, but rather to the very foundation of your life itself. Don’t worry, this is the point of it all.

Your statement, “my mind just tries to look for any answer it can hold onto even though it’s a wrong answer,” is the most brilliant insight you can have. What does this tell you? Your Mind is not concerned with what is true, but rather it is looking for what is safe. That’s ok, because that is what Minds do, that is their function. There is no need for any judgment. Only for you to understand the mechanisms that are at work. Your Mind is nothing more than a tool that is useful to navigate through the practicalities of life. It cannot tell you anything about truth simply because it cannot fathom it.

The desperation you are feeling when faced with uncertainty is a withdrawal symptom. Just like an addict when faced with sobriety begins to panic because even in the sober state what they really want is to be immersed in the hallucinations once again. Similarly you have come to associate the answers of your mind, the certainty, with a sense of feeling safe. But to be truly sober is to recognize that there is no such thing as certainty, there are no answers. That is all just a figment of the Mind’s imagination. The sober reality is one of complete uncertainty.
When you are taking a test and you can’t find the answer, so what? You say you can’t just leave the test, why can’t you? Or if you feel like it would be more appropriate to stay, why not just remain sitting? And if the answer comes to you or it doesn’t, where are all these value judgments of right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate coming from? Isn’t it only your mind?
Of course, we live in a society which has fallen prey to the very same conditioning and thinking. This is why we subject not only ourselves, but each other to this sort of tyranny. The society demands that we should have answers, because our society comprises of people who are all dominated by their own minds. So naturally it will be reflected in everyone’s behaviours and attitudes towards each other.
Which is why to truly become free internally, also means to become free externally. When you are no longer bonded by the rules and conventions of your own mind’s fears and conditioning, you will find that you naturally become less affected by those in the world around you.
Ultimately, allowing your experience is not about escaping. When you feel the anxiety coming up while you are sitting in a test, that is not the only thing that is happening. You are also breathing, the fan is spinning, people are coughing, the supervisors are patrolling, the wind outside is blowing, cars may be honking, squirrels may be running up trees. An entire universe is existing while the anxiety rises. That is your experience. The anxiety is only a part of it. To remain truly allowing is to allow ALL of it, not just the anxiety. Allow the whole experience of this moment. Really feel it and see your anxiety as one thread in this giant tapestry of a single moment.
That is what I meant in my post. The mind likes to single out a specific part of your experience and try to solve that one part. When you are trying to allow your anxiety, it is only your mind attempting to control the process. When you expand your awareness, from just the anxiety to the vaster experience of this moment, what you are doing is taking a step back from your mind and choosing, if even for a moment, to align with a deeper and simpler state of Consciousness that is much closer to your true identity.

Ashwin said...


Hi Shiv,

This post has managed to confused me completely for a while now. I'll give an example of a major issue I am facing (social anxiety).

So let's say I'm feeling social anxiety in a situation, then what do I do? Normally I would proceed to allow it, so that I can feel the gap between observer and emotion. But you now say that it is actually only pseudo-allowing. You have mentioned in the post to watch the emotion as a witness. But isn't that also pseudo-watching, since it is also "already happening" and one cant "do" it? Whatever I proceed to do, I know now that it will only be a pseudo, since silent witnessing (and allowing) is already happening. Then how must one "really allow"?

It is just absolutely confusing. If allowing is already happening within everyone, then why are 99% of the people still suffering? Shouldn't they all be in a "balanced state" automatically then? Shouldn't everyone's imbalances be dissolving all the time? When one's suffering, should he do nothing at all? Maybe you will say that one needs to "realise" that one is "allowing already". But then how to realise? Any attempt to realise would also be mind-activity, which will make it "pseudo", right?

Hope you are getting my confusion. Many masters have also mentioned that we are "already enlightened". Ramana Maharshi even says that we have "already realised too that we are enlightened" (wtf?).

I am at a complete loss as to what to do now (to end my suffering). Should I even consider changing myself to become "open" to everything, since everything's already being allowed? Allowing can't be 'done', then how do "I" participate here? Is there anything I can/should do at all here? Gain understanding? Realise stuff? What is it?

Thanks so much for bearing me with me!! I love your blog.